In the days following the death of Renee Good, many people—including myself—have described feeling a certain “heaviness” that's hard to explain. Most of us didn’t know her personally. And yet the grief feels raw and real. But this reaction, this heaviness, is more common than you might think, and it has a name: collective grief.
Collective grief occurs when a loss extends beyond a single family or community and touches shared values such as safety, humanity, dignity, or justice. When a death is sudden, violent, and publicly witnessed, especially through repeated media exposure, our nervous systems respond whether or not we had a personal relationship with the person who died.
Why This Is Affecting So Many People
From a mental health perspective, collective grief often shows up quietly at first. People may notice a sense of sadness that doesn’t lift, a short temper, trouble concentrating, or a sense of emotional exhaustion. Others may feel anxious, unsettled, outraged, or even numb.
Some of the most common responses include:
- A persistent heaviness or low mood
- Anger mixed with grief or confusion
- Anxiety or fear that feels hard to explain
- Emotional shutdown or disconnection
- Difficulty sleeping or focusing especially after consuming news coverage
You may find yourself asking, “Why am I so affected by this?” The answer is plain and simple: our nervous systems are designed to respond to threat, loss, and injustice—even when those experiences are witnessed rather than lived directly (this is also an example of secondary trauma).
For those of us with prior trauma, particularly related to violence, authority, or systemic harm, events like this can trigger us on a deep level. The reaction isn’t about politics or personal beliefs. It’s about how the body processes danger and loss.
Grieving in a Polarized Environment
Collective grief becomes especially complicated when it happens in the kind of polarized society we’re living in right now. When what happened in Minneapolis is immediately debated, analyzed, politicized, or weaponized in the form of disinformation, there is often very little room left for mourning. People may feel pressure to take a position before they’ve had time to process what they’re feeling. Others may sense that their grief is only acceptable if it aligns with a particular narrative.
Because nearly everything these days in viewed through an “us versus them” lens, this tragedy is also a form of disenfranchised grief—grief that isn’t fully acknowledged or socially supported. All you have to do is read the comments on social media (which I strongly discourage) to see that there is a certain percentage of the population dismissing—even celebrating—the events of that day. When we don’t feel safe to express our grief, it doesn’t just disappear. Instead, it often turns into chronic anger, despair, cynicism, or emotional burnout. We’re simply not built to grieve and defend our values and emotions at the same time, nor should we have to.
Safety, Power, and the Nervous System
Events like this, which only seem to be ramping up lately, don’t just bring on sadness. They can also deeply disrupt our sense of safety. Personally, I haven’t had a restful night’s sleep for quite some time.
When loss is connected with systems meant to protect us, such as law enforcement, many people experience a heightened stress response. This might look like increased vigilance, loss of trust, or a persistent sense of impending danger. For some, it stirs up older trauma or reinforces their fears.
This is not a sign of weakness. It doesn’t mean you’re “too sensitive.” It’s a normal, biological response to a real or perceived threat. Your nervous system is responding to what it is witnessing—injustice. A world where many of us, whether due to our color, religion, sexual orientation, or political views, have a target on our backs. So what can we do to calm our nervous system when the world’s in chaos?
Protecting Your Mental Health Right Now
Protecting your mental health during collective grief does not mean avoiding the pain or pretending it don’t hurt. It means tending to your nervous system while allowing space for honest emotion.
One of the most important steps is being intentional about media exposure. As a former “news junkie,” I now fully recognize that staying informed is different from being flooded. Many people find it helpful to check the news at set times rather than continuously doom scroll to avoid graphic or repetitive footage, and to step away from spaces, in person or online, where conflict escalates distress. These boundaries are not avoidance—they’re essential when it comes to preserving our sanity.
It's also important to normalize when we have mixed emotions. Grief is rarely only about sadness. It often includes anger, fear, confusion, guilt, and numbness, sometimes all at once! You don’t need to hyper-analyze your emotions or decide which ones are “acceptable.” Just allowing them to exist without judgment helps the nervous system settle a bit.
Because collective grief—like all types of grief—is stored in the body as much as the mind, gentle grounding techniques can be especially beneficial. This might include practicing deep breathing, engaging in rhythmic movement like walking, or using all of your senses to notice everything in your current environment. These practices are not about “fixing” you; they’re about reminding your body that, in this moment, you are safe.
It’s also worth pointing out the cost of moral overexertion. In times of public tragedy, many people feel compelled to educate, advocate, argue, bear witness, protest—do something. While these impulses are admirable and often come from a place of deep caring, they can quickly lead to exhaustion if we don’t balance activism with self-care. Compassion does not require self-sacrifice to the point of harming ourselves.
Finally, collective grief heals best in connection. This may look like talking with someone who can listen without debating, attending a vigil or community gathering, or reaching out to a mental health professional. If this event has affected you more than you expected, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are responding as a human being in a world that is currently asking you to hold way too much. Reach out to us here or contact us at info@deepwatermichigan.com or 734.203.0183 ext. 700 to see how we can help you navigate these challenging times.
-By Jennifer Blough, LPC